


i will always be second best

by sacredneverland



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: 1800s, Alternate Universe - Victorian, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Little Women inspired, M/M, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-27
Updated: 2020-05-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:34:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,537
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24400669
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sacredneverland/pseuds/sacredneverland
Summary: Lucas doesn't remember when he fell in love with Eliott, he doesn't even recognize how he fell in love with his soft and gentle smile, making his dazed and breath, but he knows that no matter how much he loves him, Eliott will always have eyes for his sister, and there is nothing he can do about it.Little Women AU - loosely based on Laurie and Amy's love story
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant, Lucas Lallemant/Eliott Demaury
Comments: 11
Kudos: 47





	i will always be second best

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, in order for this to work, I would like to say that in this universe, homosexual relationships are generally accepted. They aren't as common, but they are not as frowned upon as in reality at that time. This is set in the mid-1800s in France, and Lucille and Lucas are siblings, Eliott being their childhood friend.

_ Lucas 9 _

_ Eliott 12 _

“Eli! Eli! Eli!” Lucas felt Eliott before he could ever see him, feeling his arms wrap around the younger boy’s torso and lift him up, his feet dangling above the ground, toes barely scraping the wood.

“Lulu, how are you?” Eliott asked warmly, a slight up pitch in his voice, chuckling as he put the boy down, allowing Lucas to look up at him. Lucas’ smile was beaming 

“Good! Very good! Grandfather said that I could play with his old plane modeling collection if I finished all my readings!” He beamed, pushing his legs against the ground and allowing his young, thirteen-year old body to move up and down in a constant, child-like rhythm. Up and down and up and down. He found it funny how Eliott’s eyes followed him. 

“Well, did you?” He asked, in a soft question. Lucas’ pace slowed down a bit.

“Well...not exactly…” Lucas replied in slightly embarrassment, looking down at his shoes with a soft blush. He could hear Eliott chuckle above him. It made his heart beat quicken and his chest feel warm. 

“Well, in that case, shouldn’t you be reading?” This made Lucas look up with a wide smile. 

“When I finish, will you come with me to play with his models?” Lucas asked in earnest, blue, boyish eyes wide and hopeful, looking up at Eliott whose hair held up in gentle wisps and his eyes crinkled when he smiled. It only made Lucas smile even more. Eliott looked down at him with a gentle smile, the one that made Lucas feel as if the sun had moved completely above him and warmed him personally, following him and making sure he never felt cold. Lucas was always mesmerized by it. 

Lucas knew he was going to answer, Eliott, Eliott always responded to Lucas’ questions, but they were interrupted. 

“ _ If _ you finish your readings.” He felt his sisters’ hand on his shoulder, and it quickly pulled him out of his daze. He looked up at Lucille and saw her smile brightly at Eliott, face gentle and expecting. “Didn’t expect to see you hear, Dreamer. At least not this early.” She said, voice dripping with playfulness and secretiveness. Lucas never knew what that secret was, but the fact that he didn't know made him upset and that in turn confused him more.

“Well Lu, you should have known more.” It upset him even more how Eliott’s tone changed. Different to how he was with him. More playful, mature, personal.

“I suppose I should have.” With that, Lucille’s hand left his shoulder and wrapped itself around Eliott’s, her other hand accompanying it and squeezing him tight as his hands found themselves around her waist. They held each other tight. “Are you ready for the theater?” Lucille asked as she pulled away, looking at Eliott excitedly. Eliott returned with a smile that contained just as much excitement.

“Ah yes, another installment of Sir. Frederick and his many wives.” Eliott replied, and his voice became over exaggerated and pompous. It made Lucas giggle. 

“Ah yes, the ones he cannot help but complain about at the bar with his best mates while the ladies are laughing and playing, making croquets.” Lucille also dubbed a similar tone of voice. 

“Oh, whatever shall he do about them?” Eliott exclaimed in faux worry; Lucille mirrored him. 

“Certainly, he lives the most horrid life!”

“Oh, he certainly does!” They both break into fits of laughter, and it angers Lucas how much he couldn’t keep up, how much this moment seemed so private between his sister and Eliott. He wanted to know the secret, he wanted to be a part of it, so he asked.

“What are you two talking about?” He asked curiously, stepping closer to the two, and both of them focused their attention onto Lucas, Eliott shaking out of their banter while Lucille looked at him with a slight annoyance that Lucas had begun to become used to from her.

“None of your business, Lucy.” She groaned before turning to Eliott, rolling her eyes with a smile before turning fully to Lucas. “Didn’t Grandfather say you had to finish your readings?” It only clicked to Lucas that Lucille had mentioned the theater.

“Are you going to see a play?” He inquired plainly, looking between Eliott and her curiously. Lucille sighed in irritation.

“Yes, we are, Lucas.” Lucas felt his giddiness arise again. 

“May I come along with?” He asked, excited and wanting, looking between Eliott and Lucille I’m hopeful expectancy. He was only met with Lucille's groans, and he knew what those meant. Eliott just looked down at him, almost sympathetically.

“No, you can’t! This is just between me and Eliott, the big children.”

“But I am big!” Lucas whined, glaring up at his sister in anger and annoyance. Lucille rolled her eyes once more.

“Grandfather!”

“Lucille, no!”

“Grandfather, Lucas isn't finished his readings!” She looked down at him with a satisfied smirk when she had screamed it, and Lucas looked up at her angrily as he groaned and crossed his arms, irritation filling his body. It angered him that she could whine a few quick words, say a few phrases, and immediately get her way. A few sentences and grandfather would come marching in and scolds Lucas for not finishing his readings, how his father would look down at him in defeat, and how Eliott would fall right at her feet, entranced. 

“Lucas!” He heard his Grandfather’s raspy call and instantly his whole body crumbled, his shoulders slouching and face falling because now he knew he couldn’t come. His face scrunched in discontent and upset, and as soon as his Grandfather came in, a parental hand placing itself on his shoulder, squeezing it as a warning, he felt his whole demeanor fall in defeat. However, he didn’t miss the way Eliott tilted his head downwards slightly to look at him, peer at his twisted face, eyes sharp and frown pointed in the most child-like manner, one that made Eliott chuckle before he leaned from Lucille to look at Lucas more clearly.

“Lucas?” Lucas’s head immediately shot up, eyes wide and hopeful. “If you finish your readings, when I come back to bring your sister home, I’ll come play with your models with you.” And Lucas’s smile immediately relaxed before curling up, eyes regaining their sense of youthful hope and joy.

“Really, Eli?” He asked, voice high and promising. Eliott returned to him a gentle smile, eyes crinkled at the sides, becoming such romantic half-moons. Lucas wanted to swoon. 

“Of course.

“Come on, Dreamer, we’ll be late!” Lucille called from the entrance, already porting her coat and hat, calling over her shoulder as she put on her boots. Eliott turned to look at her for a second, his body jolting to move before he turned back around to Lucas and his Grandfather. 

“Good afternoon, Mr. Lallemant. Goodbye, Lucas.” He said politely before leaving, and Lucas took pride in how Eliott’s voice became softer when he spoke to him.

**\----**

As expected, Eliott had kept his promise, and he and Lucas ran around their living room with Lucille commanding them as their pilot, as all of them made obnoxious noises with their lips that Lucas and Lucille’s mother laughed at charmed. 

**\----**

_ Lucas 9 _

_ Eliott 12 _

Lucas is not sure how he had fallen, but it can be safely said that his knees and elbows have been thoroughly scratched, and that if the pain hasn’t affected him, seeing the red oozing from his fresh wounds will.

Lucas lets out a sharp gasp as he feels the contacted skin irritate and burn, harsh tingles similar to small bee stings and the worst type of sizzling imaginable making him want to cry like a baby. But, he can’t. He can’t cry because what if the tears stain his face and his father sees him, and Lucille, and his grandfather, and his Maman…

If his father sees he will look so worried. If Lucille sees then she would take him for a baby. Ff his grandfather sees then he’ll be disappointed that Lucas has been so reckless. If his Maman sees….

No. Lucas will not be a baby and run to his mother and father. Lucas will continue on forward like a big boy. He is a big boy! Even if his knees feel as if there are little needles prickling them, or his elbows and the palms of his hands feel as if they are sizzling against the autumn wind, he forces himself to get up and trek home.

However, when Lucas finds himself stumbling onto a patch of grass he doesn’t quite recognize, yet a tree that he does, he sighs.

But, then he has registered that the said tree is on  _ top _ of a hill, steep and tall, and Lucas’s throat threatens tighten and his eyes threaten to well up. He wants to scream, but he knows he cannot; he wants to shed every tear possible because the pain is overwhelming and now his throat is tightening and suffocating him and he feels as if he doesn’t let out a sob, a cry for help, he will erupt into shards, the result of the ever-building tension inside him because he is an idiot. And he can’t go home now because he would be in so much trouble and would disappoint his grandfather and his father would be so worried and Lucille would say he is a child and Maman—

“Lucas?”

Lucas doesn’t realize he has been cowering himself until now, head jutting up from its tilted position and eyes wide and watery as they land onto it. The figure. Him.

Oh.

“E-eliott?” He hates how his voice sounds, so childish and scared. If he wasn’t so stunned by his familiar friend’s presence, Lucas would probably let out a groan of frustration.

“What are you doing here—why are you so hurt!?” Suddenly, Eliott is near him, his knees hitting the ground as his fingers graze Lucas’ elbows, gently lifting them up to examine them. Lucas winces at the contact. “Lucas, what happened?” Eliott asks, worry evident in his voice as his eyes scan all over Lucas’s body, sharp as he takes in all of the young boy’s wounds. Lucas lets out a wet sigh as he attempts to shrug his shoulders nonchalantly, the pain of his wounds making the movements rigid.

“’s nothing.” He replies, trying to remain calm as Eliott gingerly picks up his hands and cups them, examining Lucas’s scraped palms. He can hear Eliott wince.

“This isn’t nothing, Lulu. How did this happen?” He asks, looking up at Lucas from his kneeled, bent-down position. And that isn’t fair, is it, because Eliott looks so soft and genuine, the imagine of safety, and Lucas can’t hold his defense against him, hold the persona he has made for himself. He cannot be the big boy who doesn’t cry over meaningless scars when Eliott is looking up at him as if he is the most fragile being in the universe, as if he needs to be taken care of by soft hands and guarded at every corner. He cannot be pitied.

“Nothing, it really isn’t important, Eliott. I must go home!” Lucas insists, trying to find an exit in the huddle Eliott has made around him. But, the older boy will not budge, now looking at Lucas determined.

“Lucas, you need to come into my house, right now. We need to take care of your wounds.” Even before Eliott could touch him, Lucas pulls away, looking up at Eliott incredulously, almost betrayed; defiant.

“Eliott, I really do not need your help! I’m not a baby!” Lucas exclaims, glaring up at the blonde boy who Is looking down at him almost sympathetically, as if he is a wounded animal. Lucas hates it.

“Nonsense! You are bleeding, Lucas!” Eliott raises his voice only slightly, but the emphases on his words, as if it is so clear, which to Eliott, and admittingly Lucas, it is. However, he doesn’t want Eliott to take care of him, because he can do this himself. At least, he is convincing himself that he can. He’s convincing himself that he can deal with this alone.

“I can take care of this myself!”

“Lucas, I am not saying you can’t, but your wounds should be treated immediately. Please, come inside.” He says this after a long sigh, looking at Lucas almost gently, but with determination, and with this patience that Lucas cannot deny.

Maybe it is because his palms are aching, and his knees are burning more and more as the seconds went on, but Lucas feels himself relax his shoulders and look up at Eliott in a simple sigh, nodding his head once as he finally stops resisting Eliott.

The older boy lets out a relieved breath, slumping his shoulders slightly as he brings his arm up and against the small of Lucas’ back, and although Lucas is upset at Eliott for forcing him to come inside, he still feels butterflies in his stomach when Eliott touches him.

He can’t help but ease at the feeling.

\----

“Eliott, sweetie, are you sure you don’t want me to call a professional?” Lucas has never met Eliott’s grandmother before, but from her soft, concerned eyes and by the way she is leaning over to look at Lucas, but still keeping her distance in order to not be too overbearing, he can tell she is a kind woman. Eliott looks over his shoulder and give her a gentle shake of the head.

“Really, Grand-mère, I’ll be fine. These bruises are quite manageable.” Eliott reassures her, throwing her a kind smile before turning back towards Lucas, gently patting the cloth sprinkled with antiseptic onto Lucas’s knee. Lucas hisses at the contact, feeling his skin prickle in the most uncomfortable way, causing him to flinch and jerk his leg. Eliott holds it as it moves. “I’m sorry, Lucas, it is going to hurt a bit.” He says apologetically, looking up at Lucas with soft eyes from his kneeled position. Lucas makes himself more comfortable on the wool chair.

“It’s fine…it’s not that painful.” Lucas attempts to reply nonchalantly, although the slight wince in his face contradicts him. Eliott snickers at that.

“Of course. You are a big boy, after all.” He chuckles. Patting the cloth as gently as possible on Lucas’s wound, sending little shocks of pain up Lucas’s leg, Eliott reaches over to the tray next to him and pulls out a few cotton swabs and some kind of strip. Lucas thinks it is probably used to keep the cotton swab in place, like the ones his father places on Lucille when she comes home scratched from playing. He always scolds her for being too rough, although Lucille never listens.

“…I am, though.” Lucas replies, persistence in his voice, because he is a boy big, and he doesn’t like the way Eliott seems to be mocking him.

“Yes, you are.” Lucas hates the small chuckle in Eliott’s voice.

“I don’t like the way you said that.” He grumbles, looking away from the boy as he picks up the cloth again and places on his other knee.

Instead of wincing this time, Lucas bites his lips, and even though it hurts, he doesn’t jerk as much.

“Say what?” Eliott asks, genuine confusion in his voice.

“When you say I am a big boy. It…you don’t...” Lucas searches through all the words he knows from Lucille’s books to describe it. “…you are mocking me.”

Eliott looks at him with slightly widened eyes.

“Well…I didn’t know it affected you so much.”

For some reason, that hurt Lucas more.

“So, you were genuinely mocking me…” Eliott pauses after he secures the second piece of cotton over Lucas’s wound.

“I did not mean to hurt you, Lucas. It’s just…” Eliott sighs as he leans over to gently touch Lucas’s elbow, lifting it up so that he can reach the wound there. Lucas has his head facing downwards so that he cannot see Eliott, and simply lets him fulfil the motion; he can see Eliott’s body tilt as he leans his frame in order to get a good view of Lucas’s face. “I plainly do not understand why you are trying to appear older than you are.”

Lucas lets out a small noise of confusion at that.

“No one wants a baby.”

“You’re not a baby, Lucas,” Lucas bites his lip again as the antiseptic touches his skin; however, Eliott stops applying it for a second, probably in order to make it easier on the smaller boy. “You’re plainly a child—”

“You don’t need to remind me.” Lucas grumbles, bitterly. Eliott laughs softly at that.

“No, but being a child is fun. I am just wondering why you want to grow up so fast when being a child is the best experience anyone can have in the world.” Lucas finally allows his head to tilt back upwards, looking at Eliott incredulously, bewildered at his statement. Eliott simply chuckles.

“You are telling me that I should keep being a baby?”

“Lucas, you’re not a baby. But you are a child, a young, ambitious, free-spirited child,” Lucas cannot stop his lips from curving a this, the smile he tried so long to hide forming on his lips, a glow brought back to his face. He can see Eliott visibly relax at this.

“Really?” Lucas inquires, leaning his forwards towards Eliott excited, receiving a giggle in response.

“Yes, much like your sister.” Eliott’s smile gets softer at this, and any inquiry, any feeling off comfort and interest that may have peaked in the few seconds Eliott has spoken, simmered away in just a few words. Of course, Lucille. He cannot say that he is surprised at the mention of his older sister, the rambunctious, grown young  _ women _ who is blossoming at her young age of 12, at least intellectually. Lucas would be surprised if someone had not mentioned her name, but it still makes him crane into himself, consumed with a feeling that he cannot remember the name of at that moment. However, it causes him to fall deeper into the back of the chair, his deflating downwards so they would be staring at his lap, and his eyes averting Eliott’s, although he assumes that Eliott is too distracted to realize.

“Much like Lucille?” Lucas barely whispers, voice flat. Eliott’s body jolts at Lucas’s delayed response, and for some reason, that made that feeling that churned in Lucas’s stomach intensify.

“Yes, much like her.” Eliott confirms, patting his elbow softly before reaching over to his supplies and picking up another piece of strap. Lucas turns his head to the right and decides that he would rather examine Eliott’s collection of novels now than speak anymore. “How is she, anyways?” Eliott inquires, and this time, when Eliott places the anesthetic on his skin, Lucas finds himself too preoccupied with over feelings than to wince.

“She is fine.”

“We should call her, tell her family that you are okay.” Lucas couldn’t stop his body from jumping when it does, looking down at Eliott with dejection and fear. But, then, another connection forms in Lucas’s head, and he could not stop himself from blurting his concern.

“You have a telephone?”

Eliott freezes at the sudden inquiry

Lucas finds himself contorting in confusion when he watches a smile form on Eliott’s face and a chuckle leave his lips.

“W-what?” Lucas asks, eye-brows intertwining in confusion and slight amusement that he has taken from Eliott. He couldn’t help it, whenever Eliott laughs, voice soft and gentle, eyes closed to form soft crescents that even the moon could not compare to, Lucas cannot suppress the sudden feeling of lightness in his chest, his heart surrounded by bubbles as Eliott’s presence takes up all of his attention, more grandiose than the room around them. The various novels and statues couldn’t compare to Eliott’s beauty.

“Lucas,” Eliott starts, his laughs calming themselves until the only sound he releases is a gentle hum, looking at Lucas with such a compassion that Lucas feels his head become dizzy from. “Please never change.” Lucas feels his eyebrows loosen as he stares at Eliott, a bit dazed, very much entranced.

“Oh?” It is a breathy response.

“Stay how you are, please. Do not pretend to be someone you are not.” Lucas doesn’t expect him, however, to bring his hand up o Lucas’s face and begin to push his cheeks together, squishing his face to the point where Lucas squirms and tries to pull away from him. Still, he is rewarded by Eliott’s laugh once more. Lucas shakes away the newfound tightness on his face and looks at Eliott with a shy smile. Eliott looks up at him with his gentle smile again, and Lucas feels as if the pain he had felt from the fall was a distant memory, the old sizzling now replaced with a newfound softness that always amazes him. “You are amazing the way you are, Lulu. Stay like that. Stay like my Lulu.”

For that moment, Lucas convinces himself that, maybe, he doesn’t need to grow up as fast as he wants to.

**Author's Note:**

> Updates will happen once a week. I promise this time. If I don't you, you can attack me on my tumblr @mecsurprenant


End file.
